Free Thinking

1. I guess every thought in my head lately has been a question. I have been insanely confused about every little detail that is happening in my life and it leads me to one simple explanation... I have no idea where I am going. I have an idea of what I will be doing in 2011, but any years that are after that, I cannot even make out. And that's sad to me, or atleast it felt sad. I feel like my entire life has been so planned out. Like I've known everything that is going to happen. I've been sitting here for the past hour thinking of how incomplete life really is. Do we ever accomplish anything? We die in the middle of what we are trying to make happen. We die with no thought. It's unbelievable. So I am sort of glad I have no idea what is to come. Because if I did, I would be just chasing a dream that is bound not to happen. My dreams are surrounded by what if's and should have been's. I miss when all of this was simple..
2. I was thinking about New Year's eve. And how we waste our time getting incredibly wasted and ringing in a NEW year. Like... seriously. Our new year's resolutions may be to stop drinking or cut off getting crazy or falling back into old habits... but isn't that was new year's eve is all about? We hook up with the latest weapon that we barely like... or kiss some random dude at the strike of 12? Shouldn't we try to be a better person at the strike of midnight and hold that out until the next year? Atleast that's the way it should be... That's the way we think.. We think, "Oh yea. this night doesn't count, I'm just partying and having fun with good friends." We are terrible.
3. Excuse me if these sound ridiculous and stupid..